Church Skipper

Before anyone gets feeling some kind of way like I'm calling you out, I want to begin by saying that I am the church skipper for today.

While I attended Catholic school as a kid, we had mass every Friday, and when we got to be in 1st grade, our class joined the rotation of in reading the readings for said mass. So at least once a week I was going in lower elementary. When I got to Jr. high and high school, I was what you'd call a "Chreaster"; people who attend church on Christmas and Easter. We went periodically other times throughout the year, but I wouldn't say we were in regular attendance. I also had CCD on Wednesday nights, so that was my dose of church for the week. 

I'm not throwing shade, placing blame or anything like that for my poor attendance. I drove at 16. I absolutely could have gone if I wanted to. 

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Since getting saved, and especially since finding our Church home, my family and I are in regular attendance as long as no one is sick or away on a work trip. Even when we're tired or busy or just "don't want to go", we go. Because those days seem to be the days God needs us to really hear the message. My husband makes me coffee with the assistance of one of our tiny baristas in the making, we get ready, and make the trek to church. 

One weekend, though, something felt.... off. 

The week prior, our lives were thrown for a loop with a medical situation, and we were off our routine almost entirely. Despite it all, we got home on Saturday, and a little over 12 hours later, we were heading to church. I was exhausted, our child through the wringer, but the family was finally together! We probably could have used the extra sleep/rest, but going to spend time with God was what felt right. 

The weekend I mentioned above- the one that felt off- I was back into routine, I had my own bed/pillow, my husband was at a knife show, things were good. But I was tired. Obviously physically tired, but after what I/we endured the week before, I was SOUL TIRED. (check out the related blog post you're not tired here!) And something told me to skip church. At first, I thought that was crazy!!! I had my heart on that hospital bed, constantly praying, asking for prayer, talking about Jesus to the poor aides assigned to our room. I needed to be in church that day. I questioned if it was my flesh telling me to skip because my husband was away and I would be outnumbered; I should just stay home and play it safe. I mean that's what the live broadcast is for.... right? I thought about it. Prayed about it, and I was going to skip. I wasn't skipping so we could sleep in or just be lazy... but I needed to be with my family, and with God, and just be completely open and vulnerable for what He needed to tell me. I felt guilty.... could the message be as powerful from my couch??

Then it hit me. I wasn't skipping church, I was skipping the church building. 

All that legalistic stuff I learned growing up was creeping up. I felt guilty for not making the sacrifice of time, comfort, ease of getting kids in and out of the car to the building and respective classrooms.... I felt dirty for watching the service from home. Thankfully I've come to learn that Church isn't just going to a building and praising and learning about our God. Church is being connected to the Father through song and scripture, through fellowship and connection, yes. But it's also about being in His Omniscient presence and pouring my heart out to Him. I certainly missed the church body that day, but I needed some solitude with my Father.

When we were back at the physical location after our medical incident, I think we made it because I was still running on adrenaline. This week, though, things had calmed down and I needed some space to just take in my family, process everything that happened, and really listen for what God was trying to say to me. So church happened at home, with my kids. I was able to really have a connection with God that I may not have had if I was in my spot at church. Walls were down, emotions weren't held back... it was beautiful. 

Honestly, going to church would probably have been easier. I could just get them in their classrooms, and I would have had undivided worship and learning. Home church was definitely powerful-- and definitely.... involving kids🫠

Earlier that week I had shared with some friends that I was feeling like Jesus when He just needed to retreat to somewhere secluded and just pray. No distractions, nothing vying for His attention, just time with His Father. Not even the disciples. That is what I NEEDED that day. 

When everyone started waking up, it felt weird to not be directing them to meals, clothes or the bathroom. They got to just do their thing, in no rush, and no mom hovering trying to push them out the door. Guilt kicked in, but I reminded myself that I wasn't skipping because it was "easy", I was choosing Church at home to connect deeper with God. 

Our church only records second service. Being a family who attends first service due to childcare needs, it felt weird having all that time in the morning. I was cautious to not slip into fleshy ways of doing all the things, and becoming so busy I missed the moments I was given. I looked at my home, my children, and the "big picture" through a lens I don't usually have. When 10:45 rolled around I enjoyed the worship so much. I sit up front when we're there, so it's a very intimate experience. But as I watched from miles away via the internet, God felt just as close. The message was right on time, and per the norm- exactly what I needed to hear. My physical routine was different, but my experience and my encounter were just as special, and just as powerful as if I had been right up front.

I am by no means encouraging you to skip church. Online viewing is an immense blessing! I have friends who were immunocompromised and could only hear the teaching that way! If you're sick, unable to drive, or away- it's a great tool to still make time for God. But despite having a beautiful encounter, I still missed the hugs, fellowship, encouragement, and prayer that can ONLY come from going to church and seeing the body. 

Please know my heart! I am NOT calling anyone out who watches online or doesn't have perfect attendance. (Did you read the title? I'm a church skipper😵‍💫) I am simply stating that there is nothing close to comparing to the connection you have while being AT church. So while missing may sometimes occur, (I probably should have titled this "church misser"🥴)Go when you can, as often as you can. Get as plugged in as you can. And then plug in some more.

 It's ok to take a time out. Jesus did! But the difference between His "time-out" and ours, is that He didn't get comfortable and stay there. Are you too comfortable, friend? Have you "not gone" for so long it's hard to get yourself back? No better time than the present! Head to church tonight (Wednesday), or schedule it for Sunday. If you don't have one, search the Google!  And if you've been away longer than you care to admit, give yourself a dose of grace. What is done is done. LOOK FORWARD (literally) to your next encounter with Christ. 

YOU are the 1 He left the 99 for. You are part of the body; stay connected!