JJJJD or JDDDD

Worship music is my favorite music. Looking back on my life, it's really shaped me into the Christian woman I am; but I really had to look back because secular music was what I heard after 5th grade. When I was a kid, I went to Catholic school. We attended mass on Friday, and we'd often sing hymns and kid worship songs during our music classes. I had a few favorites during mass: "Be Not Afraid", "Thy Word" and "Ave Maria". Music class was when we got to be a little more 'free' and cut loose. We'd sing songs like "This little light of mine" and "if the Devil doesn't like it he can sit on a tack". (If you don't know that one, do yourself a favor and look it up.)

I was driving the other day and that hymn "I've got that JOY, JOY, JOY, JOY down in my heart" -another one of my music-class-faves, was in my brain on loop. And in true Holy Spirit fashion, it got me thinking about the joy in my life. 

The lyrics say "I've got that joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart." In that moment, I was not feeling the most joyous. I was actually kind of allowing myself to wallow in a season of more worry/stress than anything. Then the Holy Spirit hit me with this thought:

Do I have that "joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart!"? Or is that "joy down, down, down, down in my heart!"?

Sadly, it was the latter.

I would say overall I am a positive person, so I had to process WHY that was. (I also realized positive person does not always mean joyful person... but that's a post for another day.)

"A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones." Proverbs 17:22

I needed that medicine, and I needed it bad. My spirit didn't feel totally crushed and dried up..... but I wasn't arguing that I was well on my way to that destination. 

So as I was kind of mulling it over and thinking about why I had a little of that joy, and it was super buried inside my heart vs. JOY JOY JOY JOY pouring out of my heart, I just started singing that song. I sang like I was listening for a subliminal message from the Lord as to why that was happening. 

crickets.

I just kept singing it

waiting for something to happen....

When it didn't come, I knew I pulled an "Emily" and overcomplicated it. (I just can't seem to get it through my head when I'm down that I don't have to do anything for God's grace, love, mercy, peace, etc to come over me. Do you do that?)

I wasn't supposed to listen to this song under water, or backwards or simultaneously with another hymn, I was just supposed to listen. I was just supposed listen, to worship, to give thanks. 

As I sang, I also realized how complicated I was tricked into believing it was, and the worry and stress melted away out of my heart. The joy that was buried started to surface. *please note that the circumstances in my life didn't change. Life was still life-in'. I just allowed the joy to claw its way out of the dark. 

After a few more rounds, that buried joy started to shine. By the time I got to where I was going, I felt night and day different. I realized how many of my "truths" were not truths at all, just rocks designed to weigh me down. I was believing and buying into what the world was telling me, rather than look up for the REAL TRUTH. Rookie mistake.

I felt a little silly at how ridiculous those "truths" from the world sounded once I had that time with the Holy Spirit, but I was grateful to have gained some awareness on the matter. 

What "truths" are you believing or buying into that aren't actually truths at all? Are those "truths" causing you to surrender your joy? 

(I say surrender because in my moments of feeling like my joy was gone, I had surrendered to the idea that I wasn't going to be happy until things changed, so why bother?)

I didn't need to try harder, dig deeper, or anything like that. What I needed to do was surrender to God. I needed to talk with Him, share my heart. Even though HE KNOWS MY HEART, He wants to hear it from me. It's through an open line of communication He shares how His grace is enough, and it's my weakness that allows His plans to come to life. (2 Corinthians 12:9- But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.) 

I would like to challenge you to look up, and look inside while the sun is shining more than it's not, and seasonal depression is at bay, to assess where your joy is at. 

Is it overflowing from your heart? Or has it been buried beneath the lies masked as truth the world spoon feeds us daily?

No matter where your "joy meter" lands, praise Him anyway. Wake up and sing, or dance, or both. Go to bed with a smile knowing God is smiling down on you. 

You are the ONE He left the 99 for. You've got His JOY, JOY, JOY, JOY pouring out of your heart.