just as sick.

Last week, my entire family was WIPED OUT with something that had been going around. It was hard and we (I) had lots of sleepless nights, but what seemed to hurt the most was that I thought we were finally in the clear. Over Christmas, for 2.5 weeks, we were also out with something. God definitely showed me some things in that first go-around, so I knew He had something else planned for me this time. 

It didn't take me as long to figure out what had to happen. 

I could feel it physically and in my mom-bones that this wasn't going to be a 24 hour thing, and I had to make a choice.

I wasn't sure when I personally would get sick, but as long as a kid is sick, I was basically just as "down-and-out". That being said, this was going to go only ONE of two ways:

option 1: I allow the physical pains of the sickness dictate how I treated my family. Would I let the tiredness, fatigue, headaches, cough, runny nose, chills, fevers, turn me into an irritable monster who reacted to everything and made a bad situation worse? 

or

option 2: despite the tiredness, fatigue, headaches, cough, runny nose, chills, and fevers, will I choose to worship and praise God for the MANY blessings I did receive? Would I respond to my family who was also miserable with love and kindness, patience and love?

Option 1 would be easier because my flesh could just take over and it wouldn't take much discipline or self control. Sure I'd feel bad snapping at my family, but I was super sick, too! They'd understand, right?

I chose option 2. I didn't do it perfectly, but in almost every waking moment in those (many, long) sleepless nights, I spent my time praying for my family, thanking God for every good morning and every good night I've been blessed with. I did that during the day, too! I talked, requested, thanked, praised and worshipped God whenever I could. 

It felt a little weird, if I'm being honest. I wasn't used to praying THIS MUCH, THIS OFTEN. It felt good, but it wasn't as natural as I'd like to say it was. When I was thinking about it, it was pretty clear I was going to be sick and stuck at home either way, so what could I possibly lose by worshipping God during this special time?

Special???? Did you say "special time" in reference to the week you were all out SUPER sick????

Yes. Yes I did.

I mean it was physically painful to go through the sickness, and lose a LOT of sleep tending to little ones. It was hard having a headache and smiling through tears and coughs and the "sick-whine" of little ones. But in ALL of those times, God blessed me with one more good night, and one more good morning with my kids and husband. In ALL those times, He showed mercy and grace in the really critical moments. In ALL those times He comforted my mama heart, my Emily heart, my wife heart. 

IN ALL THOSE TIMES GOD WAS GOOD. So, yeah, I'd call it special.

Which got me thinking, in these harder times, I was constantly seeking and praising God, but am I doing that when things aren't so hard? 

I do think I spend a decent amount of time with God, but I'm really excited for brighter days to come so I can put that to the test!

Can I just say "thank you" when there aren't dire things in front of me? Could I just marvel at the BEAUTY that is literally everywhere!? Yes, even in these muddy and transitional weeks, there is complete BEAUTY everywhere you look. 

Regardless of how much time I spent with God, I was going to be just as sick as if I didn't acknowledge Him at all. But let me tell you what it did do.

It gave me a smile when I'd have otherwise had a scowl. It gave me patience when I'd have otherwise been pretty short-tempered. It gave me hope, comfort and peace when I'd otherwise have been stressed, anxious, tense, and worried. I lost nothing all while GAINING IT ALL by spending more time in the Word and with my Father!

I didn't do any of this to shorten my sickness, or minimize the severity of it. I had immediately surrendered I was going to be sick a while! I just chose to do it with my hands and heart open, because that is what I am supposed to do. (1 Chronicles 16:23-31, Daniel 2:20, Dueteronomy 10:21, Jeremiah 20:13, Psalm 75:1, Exodus 20:2-6, John 4:21-24, Psalm 99, Romans 12:1-2, 1 Samuel 15:22, Psalm 29.)

If your circumstances wouldn't change, or your situation itself get any better, I'd like to ask you- as well as myself- if we'd still be inclined to worship?

YOU are the 1 He left the 99 for. You may be "just as sick", but you are infinitely more "well" when you grow closer to the Lord.