Taco Salad Redemption

I'm writing this in March 2024. If you're reading this around that time, please know this is a BIG DEAL for me. I've been sitting on the idea of "The One Society" for 2 years. I didn't act on it for a lot of reasons: fear or rejection, fear of failure, unsure of the direction I really wanted to go, fear of success (yeah- this was my biggest one), felt slimy with some of the ideas that were presented... but ultimately, it came down to me trying to act on good ideas rather than God's ideas. I still don't know where this blog will go in the future, or if it'll morph and evolve into other, or additional things, and that's ok! But I knew that I loved the Lord, have a heart for "the one", and was onto something; so I had to stop being disobedient. (Sitting on this and not sharing my heart.)

Like I said in my first blog post; I didn't know how or when or where to start... but I can write well enough, and had the access to make a blog, so I felt like I had to fight my inner voice saying "don't start without a solid plan", and had to trust GOD who was saying "just start writing, I'll lead you." So, in a crazy hotel room, I started writing. 

Almost 2 months went by, and only a few close friends knew I started writing for The One Society. With the prompting of a friend and the Holy Spirit, I shared the blog with my Women's Bible Study leadership team. I shared the blog with them, and asked that they take a few minutes to read what I'd written. I also told them I didn't (necessarily) want feedback, but would appreciate anything they felt compelled to share. I figured this would help me get over the fear of the ACTION of putting it out there. It prompted me to fine tune things quickly, and become more decisive than I'd been in a long time. 

The feedback was positive, so I figured the following week or so would be a good time to share with a few more people! (Thanks again for everyone who took the time to not only read, but encourage and support me through messages and texts.) The following Monday night at our  Women's Bible Study titled "Glorious Freedom", our Pastor's wife lead the session that would change me forever. 

dun dun dun.........

"Glorious Freedom" is the title of the study she led; but that particular session was freedom from the

FEAR 

OF 

MAN. 

I can't be the only one who's got SOMETHING in their back pocket that they keep small because they're worried about what other people think... right??! And to touch on something I mentioned earlier; my fear of success; If you don't have first hand experience with the fear of success, it can look different for everyone. Mine, however, looks like this:

If I were to write and publish this blog, and it goes well, I'd start to write more, and maybe publish more frequently. I'd probably add some merch and cool stuff because I'm a sucker for that anyway. But what if I couldn't keep up with the writing!? What if I wrote something that offended someone?! What if the quality of the merch and "stuff" I had was awful and everyone hated it!?  Then, I'd have this thing, this blog that people knew was a thing, and then now knew was a huge failure!?

SO, my brain in order to 'protect' myself from being humiliated (which I know won't actually kill me...), says "if you don't start, you can't succeed. If you don't succeed, you won't have to deal with being humiliated when you fail!"

Ooof. some pep talk, eh? Did you catch that part at the end? Where I tell myself "when you fail", not "if"? 

Well, I figured what better way to change that awful mindset than to share with the women at my Women's Bible Study table!? The study wrapped up, and we were all gathering out things to head home. I blurted out to the women who were remaining that I had this blog, and wanted to share it in our group text, if anyone felt compelled to read it. I shared a little more of my fears, and a few women were giving encouragement and advice. I WISH I remembered how the expression "when life gives you lemons, make lemonade" came up, because I remember thinking how GREAT lemonade was... and that THAT analogy didn't apply to me because how could *I* possibly make something great!? So, rather than graciously accept, I said something along the lines of "I wish I'd make lemonade. I'm more like the crushed up tortilla chips at the bottom of the bag you just throw away. What can you do with them?!" And without skipping a beat, my friend Rhonda looked at me and said:

"I'D MAKE A TACO SALAD!!!!"

That statement not only resonated with me because I LOVE ANYTHING TACO-RELATED, but because it was delivered quickly, matter of fact, and without even realizing it, she changed my not-so-easy-to-change mind. I was put in my place-- with love. I LOVE THAT PEOPLE LOVE ME ENOUGH TO SAY THINGS LIKE THAT! I know I'm redeemed through Christ, but that night, I was reminded of my redemption from a simple taco salad. 

I'd like to encourage you, next time you're afraid of something, to confess it. Outloud. To God AND someone who's close with Him. I faced my fear through fellowship, and am able to continue to face them because I was reminded whose I am. 

You're the ONE He left the 99 for. You've been redeemed from broken tortilla chips and are ONE amazing Taco Salad!