the 2nd to last lap

Joshua 6, they had to make 7 laps. dont quit before it's over. 

Jericho. The infamous story that even people unacquainted with Jesus have likely heard. Well because the Bible is a LIVING book, today, as I'm writing this, I want to share how the book of Joshua, specifically chapter 6, is speaking to me. I pray this finds you in the right moment, where you can continue to persevere and move forward in faith and hope. 

I've experienced depression and some scary side effects as far back as I can remember. Don't want or need pity, just giving you some background. I was raised Catholic and went to Catholic school where the nuns did a GREAT job literally scaring the hell out of me. (to this day its my biggest fear; even more than birds) I memorized a lot of prayers, ticked the boxes for the various sacraments... On paper I was "good". I can't pinpoint the age- I still had precious moments sheets if that gives you a time frame- but I started to feel super awkward praying the long prayers at school. At night when I would pray, I would say the prayer by memory, and kind of monotone. Then I would just talk to God since all the "formal stuff" was out of the way. I would talk to Him about all kinds of stuff: grant warmth to those who were cold, make the people who were hungry forget or feel full... Looking back, they were such innocent prayers, but they were sincere. I was struggling even at that young age, but because it was something that I'd always kind of felt, I just assumed that was normal. 

Fast forward 10 years. I was older, and I finally figured out that the feelings and thoughts brewing inside of me were not, in fact, normal. Things felt pretty hopeless. I was sad/lonely/hurting most of the time, but boy did those braces help me put on one show-stopper of a smile.. My prayers kind of changed to pleas of help. One night, homecoming of my freshman year of high school, I had decided that I was done. I was done faking a smile, I was done settling, I was tired of feeling unloved by the people who should love me most... All my feelings were telling me I was done. I was convinced I wouldn't ever actually accomplish what I was meant to do; how could I? I was a mess... I stood on the sidelines watching the seniors come out to announce who was homecoming king and queen. My neighbor, and someone who had taken me under her wing, was on the court. I wanted to see her out there! She was beautiful- and I'm not just talking looks. She was funny, and kind, and patient, and when I was with her, I felt seen. 

Anyways, the commentary and announcements were long and boring, so there I stood. Me and my intrusive thoughts that were rapidly wrapping up what was my life so far. I was 14. I was sure that all the pain and suffering I'd endured so far was signifying the end of me. I was scared, because what if I missed something?? But the intrusive thoughts were instantly back telling me I didn't. I wrestled with it for a few minutes, then it was time. Time to hear the winners. Runners up....... couldn't tell you, but it wasn't my girl. THEN- they said it. She won! I was so happy for her! Genuinely happy. Nothing really came of homecoming kings and queens in our little town, but SHE WON and I was filled with joy-- and HOPE. All of a sudden the glimmers of hope I had shone bright. I decided, well, maybe my race isn't over just yet. I'll try to be on homecoming court, and win like she did! If not, then I can end it then. 

*I am so grateful God doesn't answer every prayer.... If so, I wouldn't be here today.

 I kept running my race. Each lap was different, but still kind of felt the same. Then, my senior year, I made homecoming court. The day was always in the back of my mind, because the outcome would determine my fate. Or so my 17 year old self thought. I didn't win. Not even runner up. But in that moment, I realized that what I had been feeling all these years wasn't nearly as bad as I had made it out to be. Sure, there was a lot of hurt and pain and suffering, but I got through it, and could get through a lot more. 

On that football field, at the 50 yard line, I decided to run another lap. 

In Joshua 6, they're directed to make a lap around Jericho once a day, for 6 days. Then on the 7th day, they were to make 7 laps. 

4Have seven priests carry trumpets of rams’ horns in front of the ark. On the seventh day, march around the city seven times, with the priests blowing the trumpets. 5When you hear them sound a long blast on the trumpets, have the whole army give a loud shout; then the wall of the city will collapse and the army will go up, everyone straight in.” Joshua 6:4-5

The people made 12 laps -in SILENCE- around the mighty walls of Jericho. Just marching.... in silence.... marching... 

They knew that after the 7th lap on the 7th day, the walls would fall and they'd take Jericho, but I can't help but wonder if anyone marching thought "I wonder how this is going to break a wall down?"

I spent time thinking about what those laps must've felt like for them, because I read this chapter and think, "Dang! They only had to march 13 times, give out a shout and CRASH! Down go the walls." Must be nice to have such an easy win." But like I said; I tried to really think about it from their perspective. I wonder how they felt on that first day? Were they like "why can't we just shout today and bring down Jericho?" And if they didn't think that on day 1, did they think it on day 6? "why do we have to do this again tomorrow when we can do a few more laps today?"

**I am by no means suggesting any of the men were disobedient or questioning their orders. This is more like what I would be thinking if I were there. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Then it's here, day 7; seven laps until this is complete! They knew this was coming, they knew what they had to do, when and how they had to do it, and the outcome they'd see. 

The 6th lap that day probably felt like Christmas Eve to kids nowadays, or the night before something special was happening. 

But what if they didn't know that it was going to be 6 days of solo laps, then 1 day with 7?

 Day 6 would have felt like day 1; maybe with a little more defeat. Day 7 would have been confusing because they were like, why are we doing another lap? AND ANOTHER!? But that's a lot like our lives, isn't it?

 I think back to the story I shared earlier, and how each year of high school was a lap around Jericho. Some laps felt like I was just going through the motions, just to go through them again tomorrow without seeing any changes (days 1-6). But my senior year homecoming- the 7th lap on the 7th day- my desire to end things came crashing down, just like Jericho. 

I can't imagine what would have happened if they stopped after that 6th lap because they were over it. They were SO CLOSE! Thankfully they were obedient and kept marching. How close are you friend? You may not know what lap you're going to see chains broken, or how many more laps you have. All I can do is encourage you to keep marching. Trust that God's plan is greater than your desire to quit. Keep marching towards the next blessing the Lord has in store for you. And if things are dark and you need help, I encourage you to reach out to someone: a trusted friend, someone you've seen at church, your church leadership team... me! Having lost my best friend to suicide, The suicide hotline is available for call or text at 988 . Getting help isn't weak! Keep fighting, and let us know how we can pray for you in the comments, or email us!
prayer@the-one-society.com

We're all just one lap away from a break through. That lap right before the last one, the 2nd to last lap, may feel a lot like the first. Keep going: keep marching, keep praying, keep seeking God, ask for help. Your life is treasured, He wants to help you see it. 

YOU are the 1 He left the 99 for. Keep marching.